I Wish – Chapter 21

Tuesday July 12, 2012
Los Angeles, CA

Niall wasn’t looking forward to the next day.

He hadn’t heard from Brittany since he’d been texting her the day before. He knew it was probably because she was extremely busy in New York. Album releases were tough, he knew all too well what she was probably going though. Surely she didn’t have a spare minute. That was fine with him. Even though he’d agreed to be her friend, his heart just wasn’t in it. He was simply doing it for convenience sake.

When it came to Brittany, he was sure he would always want more. At least once the tour was over he wouldn’t have to deal with her anymore. Normally, Niall loved being on tour. Now, he was counting down the days until it was over.

As it was, their time in LA had been a nice distraction. They’d spent the bulk of the day recording, and were hoping to have their album finished over their next trip to the city. It was a lot of hard work, but Niall really didn’t mind. He enjoyed the process, and it gave him something to do.

Now, as he sat alone in his hotel room, he was alone with his thoughts.

He scrolled a little through twitter, but didn’t see much of anything that interested him. Even Brittany’s tweets were lacking. Of course, they were mostly about her album, and telling her followers to go out and buy it.

Niall had to smile a little to himself. He remembered how excited he had been when their album had dropped. It was a day that he’d never thought would come to reality. He wished he could be able to experience it with Brittany. To be there with her in New York to hold her and kiss her after every performance and tell her how proud he was of her and how he knew her album was going to go to number one.

He didn’t get to do any of those things of course. Though, Niall had to admit he also took solace in the fact that Harry didn’t either. Even though he was the one dating Brittany, he was stuck in LA with the rest of the group. Niall had to wonder if Harry even cared. He hadn’t said much about Brittany or her album release – he’d only mentioned the fact that he missed her.

This left Niall wondering if Harry actually missed Brittany, or if he simply missed the warm body in his bed.

Though Niall was dreading seeing her again because of his unrequited love for her, he had to admit that without her presence, something felt off. She’d managed to really become a part of their little group over the course of the tour, and the lack of her witty jokes and bright smile was something that was missed when she was away.

Niall shook his head as he flipped through the TV channels from his hotel bed. He stopped on MTV, where they were, of course, replaying her visit and performance from earlier that day.

He couldn’t stop himself from putting the remote down and watching it. He knew he probably shouldn’t – he was trying to get over her after all. But he really wanted to see how her day had been and share that excitement with her. Even if just through the TV screen.

He smiled as he watched her. Her smile was infectious, even through the TV. The way she grinned while she was singing, Niall could tell she was genuinely happy. She didn’t put on much of a performance per se. Her persona didn’t change at all when she was on stage – she was the same happy bright girl that he knew and, well, loved.

He listened intently as the MTV VJ began to interview her.

“You’ve been touring with One Direction this summer, what’s that been like?”

Brittany rolled her eyes a little, but kept the smile firm on her face. “Everyone always asks me that, and it’s like, I’m not sure what they expect me to say. If it sucked, I wouldn’t tell you guys!” she laughed a little. “But really, it’s fun. I’m having a great time.”

“So who’s your favourite member of the group?”

Brittany just laughed again. “I don’t know.”

“Well, you’re dating Harry, right?”

Brittany just nodded as she held the microphone to her mouth. “Yeah… I am. I get along with all of them pretty good. I guess since I’m dating Harry, probably him. But Niall and I hang out a lot too. He’s probably my best friend in the group. We just get along really well, you know?”

Niall sighed as he watched Brittany describe their situation on MTV. She’d left out so much, and yet, she really hadn’t at all. She was dating Harry, yes, everyone knew that. Still, after all they had been through, she still considered Niall her friend. Her best friend, even.

He wondered how sincere that was, but he figured it had to be. She wouldn’t have said it to MTV otherwise. It wasn’t like she would have known he was going to be watching.

So, he picked up his phone and sent her a quick text.

Niall Horan: You still awake?

It took a couple minutes, but finally, Brittany responded.

Brittany Cooper: Yeah… I was just about to go to sleep. What’s going on?

Niall fumbled with the keyboard a little bit.

Niall Horan: I love you.

He stared at it for a moment, but then deleted it without sending it. What was the point? He clearly wasn’t doing a very good job of getting over her. Instead, he just made conversation with her.

Niall Horan: Nothing, I was just watching your MTV thing. You were really good.

Brittany Cooper: Thanks… I was really nervous.

Niall glanced back up at the screen. Brittany was still on, but she wasn’t being interviewed any longer, instead she was performing what Niall assumed was a track from her album.

Niall Horan: You couldn’t tell, you were fine.

Brittany didn’t text him back for a little while after that. Niall put his phone back on the nightstand and assumed she’d just fallen asleep. Her MTV special finished and Niall continued flipping through channels settling on a rerun of Friends.

Eventually, his phone buzzed and Niall grabbed it off the nightstand. There sat another text message from Brittany, and he could hardly believe his eyes.

Brittany Cooper: I really want to kiss you again..

Niall felt his heart speed up in his chest, but he wasn’t about to let her play her little games. She had been the one to tell him it wasn’t going to happen. She had been the one who wasn’t willing to break it off with Harry.

Niall Horan: Now who’s the one starting shite, hmmm?

He hit send on his cheeky message and stared at his phone, waiting for her to send him a reply. She did almost instantly.

Brittany Cooper: Call me.

Niall rolled his eyes. She had him wrapped around her little finger, and she knew it. Desperately, he wanted to call her, but he wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction. Besides, he’d already decided that he wasn’t going to do that to Harry. He wasn’t going to allow Brittany to play her stupid game and have them both. Someone was going to get hurt and as Niall was already the one who was hurting, he figured he may as well continue to be.

Niall Horan: Did you break up with Hazza?

He already knew the answer and sat there with a smirk on his face as he waited for him to message him back.

Brittany Cooper: No..

Niall Horan: Then I’m not calling you. Night Britt. x

He put his phone on silent and placed it back on the nightstand. He was through playing stupid games with Brittany. If she wanted to be with him, he would be more than ecstatic, but only if she truly wanted him. Right now, Niall couldn’t tell if that was the case or if this was all just a little game to her.

If she were to tell him that she actually did love him, that might be a different story. But until that moment arrived, if it ever did, Niall vowed to keep his distance from her.

He had to.

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