Tonight, Tonight

Niall kicked his feet as he sat with his legs hung over the edge of the harbour on the Royal Canal. He’d always gone there when he was younger. Now, as the cool water slid over his feet, he needed to return to that innocent mindset more than ever.

He drew in a shallow and shaky breath, doing his best to concentrate on the calm water in front of him. It did little to soothe him, and wasn’t an accurate indicator of his mood at all.

He clutched his sides and tried to swallow the lump that threatened to rise in his throat. It didn’t work and he blinked his eyes rapidly.

How could they?

The scene replayed over and over again in his mind. His mother crying, his father shouting, his step-father sitting awkwardly off to the side, his brother looking at him with disgust.

Telling them had been a risk, Niall had known that. It had been the reason for his apprehension, and why he’d waited so long. Why he had decided to tell them all at once, he could no longer fathom. His logic before had been that it would make it easier. That he’d only have to say it once.

As it turned out, uttering the words “I’m gay,” weren’t easy under any circumstance. Having everyone there watching him, and judging him all at once had been decidedly worse.

Now, he sat alone, feeling rejected and unloved by his family.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Niall heard Liam’s soft voice from behind, but he didn’t turn around. In his haste to leave his father’s house, he’d forgotten that he was supposed to call Liam at exactly 9pm to let him know how it went, and if it was okay to come join them.

It had to be nearly 10:30 by now.

Liam sat down beside Niall, pushing the blonde’s discarded shoes gently out of the way. “It didn’t go well, I take it?”

“No,” Niall choked out, not daring to look at his boyfriend. He felt so ashamed of himself, and though he knew that Liam loved him, he couldn’t quite at that moment understand why.

Liam offered him a look of sympathy, even though Niall’s gaze was still firmly fixed on the lake. “I’m sorry, Nialler,” he said softly. He wanted so badly to wrap him in a hug, but he refrained. He knew Niall well, and he knew that he probably didn’t want to be touched right then.

“I just don’t get it,” Niall said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “I don’t understand why they hate me so much.”

Liam didn’t know what to say to that, because he didn’t understand either.

Niall shook his head slightly and looked back down at his feet. He couldn’t decide whether he hated himself or hated his family more. He didn’t even think he hated himself for actually “committing the ultimate sin” (as his father had so eloquently put it) but rather for just telling them and having their image of himself shattered.

Liam felt awful for Niall, and didn’t quite know what to do. His own family had been accepting and happy for them both. They had allowed Niall into their family with open arms. It was hard for Liam to relate to what Niall was going through, but he had to try. “I love you,” he said softly, hoping it would help.

It did. Niall nearly melted at Liam’s words. They were exactly what he needed to hear. “Thank you,” he said quietly, making eye contact with Liam for the first time since he’d sat down beside him.

“They don’t know what they’re talking about,” Liam assured him, gently placing his hand on top of Niall’s.

Niall’s mouth was still turned down in a slight frown. His tears had stopped, but he was still frustrated and sad. “I know,” he sighed. “But it still hurt. You’d think I’d have told them I was dying with they way they reacted,” he scoffed. “My father even told me I was dead to him.”

Liam looked at Niall sadly. He couldn’t fathom his parents treating him so horribly simply because of who he was in love with. “They’ll come around,” he said, but Niall just shrugged.

“I don’t know that they will,” he said honestly.

“They will,” Liam said with certainty. He couldn’t imagine them hating Niall forever. Niall was too good of a person, too much fun to be around, so full of life and love. He couldn’t imagine anyone hating him for any reason, much less something he couldn’t control. “And if they don’t, you have me, you’ll always have me. And the other boys. And my family. We love you.”

“I love you too,” Niall said quickly, leaning his head on Liam’s shoulder. “You always know how to make me feel better.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Liam replied, stroking Niall’s back.

“You did,” Niall insisted. “Just by being here.”

The two boys sat silently with each other for a few minutes, just watching the water, and being grateful that they’d found each other.

“Li,” Niall said quietly after a little while.

“Hmm?”

“We should go back,” he said. “I mean, back to your hotel, I guess because…”

Liam understood. “Okay,” he said, standing up as Niall reached over to put his shoes back on.

The grass crunched under their feet as they walked back to Liam’s hotel room. Niall reached for Liam’s hand and laced their fingers together, suddenly craving his touch. Liam looked down at Niall and smiled.

It wasn’t a far walk, but to Niall it felt like ages. All he wanted to do was curl up beside Liam and forget about everything that had happened that night. He wanted to be close to him and love him and remind himself why he had gone through all of this pain in the first place.

Eventually, Niall got his wish, and they were inside the small room. Niall kicked off his shoes and laid down on Liam’s bed.

Liam looked at him and considered sitting in the plush chair off to the side, but Niall gave him a look and patted the empty side of the bed beside him.

And Liam obliged, laying down next to his boyfriend.

“You’re beautiful,” Niall murmured, tracing his fingers along Liam’s arm. “I love you.”

Niall leaned upwards to kiss Liam, needing and craving that physical touch from him. And without any words spoken, Liam understood. He pulled himself in closer to Niall, losing himself in their kisses and the way their hands always explored each other so easily.

But tonight, Niall felt, was different.

He pulled his shirt over his head and nodded at Liam to do the same, which he did. They laid back down beside each other, kissing softly, looking at each other lovingly.

Niall touched Liam’s shoulder with his hand and ran his fingers along his skin. He was turned on, yes, but it was more than that. He wanted to be close to him, to feel his life against his own.

“I love you so much, Li,” Niall murmured, reaching down to unzip his boyfriend’s jeans and pull them off.

Liam gently moved Niall’s hand away and assisted him, shrugging out of his jeans and tossing his underwear aside as well. As Liam did this, Niall did the same, throwing the rest of his clothes onto the floor and pulling Liam in closer to him.

The two of them fell back onto the bed, entangled with each other. They kissed roughly and rubbed up against each other. Muffled moans were emitted by both of them as they clung to each other.

“Liam,” Niall whispered softly.

“Hmmm…” Liam kissed the corner of Niall’s mouth, waiting for him to continue.

“Make love to me,” he said softly, nervously.

Liam pulled away from Niall slightly, looking at him. Niall could feel his heart pound in his chest as Liam did this. It was fear – fear because he was offering to cross a line they hadn’t yet. Fear that Liam would tell him he didn’t want to.

But that didn’t happen. “Are you sure you want to?” he asked quietly, stroking his boyfriend’s cheek.

“Yeah,” Niall said with certainty. He was scared, but yes, he wanted to do this. He needed it, now more than ever.

Liam kissed Niall lightly on the cheek and then enveloped his mouth with his own. He kissed him deeply before pulling away. “I thought this might happened while I was here,” he murmured, reaching over to his bags before pulling out a small bottle of lube. “So I came prepared.”

Niall grinned. Liam knew him so well. No matter how their trip had gone, he was right, this probably would have ended up happening. Had it gone well, it would have been how they celebrated their love with each other.

And now?

Well, Niall supposed the reason was the same.

Liam coated two of his fingers with the liquid and set the bottle aside. He pulled Niall in close to him and reached downwards, touching Niall in a place he had never been touched before. He whimpered a little as Liam inserted a finger.

“You okay, Nialler?” Liam asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Niall said, even though he was in pain. “Don’t stop.”

Liam pressed on, gently but firmly sliding his finger further inside. Niall tensed up around him, but began to relax as he steadied his breathing. He reached down in between the two of them, taking Liam’s cock in his hands and lightly stroking it.

“Ugh,” Liam groaned. He’d nearly forgotten about himself in his efforts to prepare Niall.

Niall kept his eyes firmly closed as Liam worked him. He let out a loud, involuntary moan as the tip of Liam’s finger brushed against his prostate. “More,” he pleaded, tightening his grip on Liam.

Liam pulled out, and slowly reinserted two fingers. Just as before, it took Niall some time to adjust to him, and what was happening. He had to focus to control his breathing, as dull pain throbbed through his whole body.

Niall tried to concentrate his efforts into pleasuring Liam as he dealt with the pain. He gripped him tightly and moved his hand up and down. He tried to go slow, as to not send Liam overboard.

“Nialler,” Liam breathed, spreading his to fingers apart, and pulling them back together. He rubbed his fingertips against Niall’s prostate, earning another moan from the blonde boy.

“Oh Liam,” he groaned. “Fuck.”

The cuss word wasn’t out of place for Niall, but it brought a whole new level to the situation. What had been loving and intimate before, was now not without an extra layer of lust. Niall bore down on Liam’s fingers, trying to allow him to go deeper.

“Liam… I need you,” Niall whimpered.

And Liam wasted no time. He pulled away from Niall, while Niall laid himself down on the bed. His heart pounded in his chest again as he watched Liam coat his cock with lube, sliding his fingers along his own length.

Liam hovered over Niall and kissed him lightly. “I love you, Nialler.”

“I love you too, Li.”

Niall whimpered at the blunt pressure as Liam slowly slid inside of him. He bit down on his lip and took deep breaths. The pain was a lot for him to take, but looking up at Liam, seeing his eyebrows furrowed with concern, made it worth it.

Liam stopped and leaned down closer to Niall, trying to get him used to the intrusion. Eventually, his muscles became less tense, and Niall nodded slowly.

Liam began to move slowly, thrusting in and out of his boyfriend softly. He stifled a moan, loving the feeling of being this close to him.

As the pain melted away, Niall got more used to having Liam inside him. Niall sighed a little with pleasure, reaching down to stroke his own erection. “Mmph, Liam,” he moaned softly.

Liam continued to move at a steady pace, reaching upwards and gripping Niall’s shoulder with one of his hands. He’d always loved his boyfriend’s strong arms, and they had only gotten more toned in the past few months.

Niall tilted his head back and Liam leaned down to kiss his neck, just as he knew Niall liked. Niall moaned and the soft sounds were enough to push Liam over the edge. His thrusts became rougher and he panted, crying out as he came.

And when this happened, Niall pumped his cock harder, biting down on his bottom lip. His hand moved faster, and his body shook with orgasm seconds after Liam.

The two boys breathed heavily, tangled up in each other. Liam kissed Niall on the forehead and looked at him sweetly.

Never in his life had he thought he would be so lucky to find a love such as this.

“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he said softly, lovingly.

That was all it took for Niall to cling to him and bury his head in his shoulder. It had been an emotional night, and it got the better of him, tears falling from his eyes and getting lost in between their skin.

He loved Liam with all his heart, and he didn’t care who knew it.

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