Left and Leaving – Chapter 10

And I’m leaving
With goodbye
And I’m losing
But I’ll try
With the last ways left
To remember sing
My imperfect offering

The Weakerthans – “Aside”

Camille squeezed her eyes shut as she felt someone attempting to nudge her awake. “Go away.” She mumbled.

Chris sighed, sitting down on the bed beside her. It didn’t surprise him that Camille was still sleeping, even though Nick had woken up nearly an hour earlier to get ready to leave. “Come on, Cam.” Chris said, shaking her lightly once again. “We’re almost ready to go.”

“I don’t want to go.” She said, rolling over and attempting to go back to sleep. She didn’t think she would be able to handle a tearful goodbye at the airport. Especially after she and Nick had ended the night bitterly. “Tell him I said ‘bye’.”

“If you don’t come with us, you’re going to regret it.” Chris said, turning on the light in the room. “We’re leaving in ten minutes.” He finished, before walking out of the room. He had to admit, he felt bad for her. After they’d gone to bed, he could hear the two of them arguing, even though he could tell they were trying to be quiet about it.

Camille reluctantly got up and started getting dressed. Chris was right, she knew should wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if she didn’t accompany Nick to the airport. But something about saying goodbye to him and watching him walk through the security gates seemed so…final. She doubted that she’d be able to keep it together once he was gone.

Grudgingly, she walked out of the bedroom and met Chris and Nick, who were sitting in the living room. “Morning.” She said glumly, sitting down beside hey boyfriend.

“Morning.” Nick replied, kissing her on the cheek. “Did you sleep okay?”

Camille nodded, though it wasn’t entirely true. She hadn’t fallen asleep until around four in the morning, and it was now seven. Suffice to say, she was tired. “Did you?”

Nick shrugged. “Yeah.”

The three of them sat in a somewhat uncomfortable silence while Nick finished his coffee, as well as when they drove to the airport. Camille didn’t really have much to say, she didn’t want to start another fight with Nick, and there really wasn’t anything she could say to make him change his mind. Nick was far too busy daydreaming about getting back into the studio and meeting up with the other guys once again. And every time Chris tried to make conversation, it ended up falling flat.

So, they shared silence for a good half an hour.

Once they arrived at the airport, Nick was able to check his bags and get his boarding pass. Then, all they had to do was wait for his call.

Nick and Chris chatted about random things. They joked about the bad airline food, and the flight attendants. The usual things guys talk about. Camille continued to sit quietly, not really knowing what she could say to Nick. So she sat beside him, not uttering a word, but still tightly gripping his hand.

It didn’t take long before Nick had to go through the security gates. He quickly nodded a goodbye to Chris, and turned to Camille. “Are you going to miss me?” He asked with a grin, trying to get her to crack a smile.

She didn’t. “Obviously.”

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” He said, giving her a hug. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Not for like, a month and a half.” She said glumly. There was nothing Nick could say that would make her feel any better. Even if he’d gotten down on one knee right then and there, it still wouldn’t have changed the fact that she wasn’t going to see him until Christmas time.

Nick gave her a kiss before heading through security. “I love you.” He said softly.

“I love you too.” She replied half heartedly. All she wanted was for this to be over with, why was Nick insisting on dragging it out.

“I’ll call you when I get there.” He said, as he walked away from her.

“Bye.” She whispered.

Nick handed his pass to the security guard, and moments later, he was gone. Camille stood and stared for a second, hoping he would come running back out, declaring his undying love for her and that he was going to stay in Florida after all.

It didn’t happen.

“You want to go get breakfast somewhere?” Chris asked, as he and Camille started to walk out of the terminal. She shook her head. “Come on, my treat.”

Camille just shrugged. “Whatever.” She said.

Camille and Chris continued to walk in that same uncomfortable silence that had plagued them on the car ride. It bothered Chris a little, usually Camille was a more vocal person than this. “I know it’s probably a stupid question, but are you okay?” Chris asked her once they were seated at the TGI Friday’s that was located inside the airport.

“I’m fine.” She replied.

But Chris continued to pester her. “It’s weird, Cam. Why aren’t you getting upset?”

She glared at him. As far as she was concerned, she thought she was doing rather well! She didn’t need Chris sitting there telling her that he wanted her to cry. “I’ve been upset for the last month about this. Obviously I kind of got prepared for this day.” She said bitterly.

“Okay, okay, sorry.” Chris said, turning to look at the menu. As he did this, he noticed that Camille was staring down at the screen of her cell phone, probably hoping Nick would call. He probably wasn’t on the plane yet, since it was only 8:20.

He sighed. It bothered him to see her this way. She was obviously upset, and unfortunately he knew how things were probably going to play out between the two of them. “Just so you know, whenever Nick goes away on tour or whatever, he usually ends up breaking up with whatever girl he’s with…” Chris said slowly, not wanting to upset her, but also wanting her to know what was probably going to end up happening.

“Thanks, Chris.” Camille said sarcastically. “That really helps a lot.”

“I mean, I hope it doesn’t happen between you guys.” Chris defended himself. “I just wanted to let you know what’s happened in the past.”

“Whatever.” Camille replied, no longer wanting to talk about Nick. She sighed to herself. Was it too early to order a drink?

**

Nick leaned back in his seat as the plane started to take off. He had to say, he was pretty excited about what was to come. He hadn’t been in the studio with the guys since they’d recoded Black and Blue, which felt like decades ago. It would be nice to see everyone again.

Though, he couldn’t shake the worry he had about Camille. She’d been uncharacteristically quiet all morning and it concerned him. She hadn’t cried, she hadn’t begging him to stay. She’d just said…well, nothing. And it bothered him. He’d expected her to get upset and make a scene at the airport. The fact that she didn’t made him a little uneasy. Was she accepting the fact that he was leaving? Or was she planning on forgetting about him once he was gone?

Nick sighed to himself, feeling a little regretful that he’d left things so sour with them. She’d asked him to sleep with her again last night, after they’d gone to bed, and once again he’d refused. And of course, this caused another argument between the two of them. Nick was now feeling as though he should have just given her what she’d wanted. Perhaps she’d still been angry with him, and that was why she’d acting so strangely that morning?

Nick glanced at the phone attached to the seat in front of him. For a second, he contemplated calling her, and attempting to fix things. But, he knew it would either just end in an argument or with her not saying much at all. So, he decided against calling her until he landed. Glancing out the window, he took once last look at the city beneath him before it was lost underneath the clouds.

Still, with all the problems he was having with Camille, he couldn’t help but feel giddy over starting the next chapter of his career.

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