Chapter 22 – Don’t Fight, Don’t Argue

I left Kevin’s hotel room feeling a lot better and lot more sure of the future than I had in a very long time. Finally, I didn’t have to worry about my relationship with Nick, or what was going to happen with us. Everything was coming together nicely. And why shouldn’t it? I deserved that much… didn’t I?

So, smiling, I walked back to my hotel room. I might have even pranced a little bit. I was definitely on cloud nine.

The room was dark when I entered it, I figured Bev was out with some of the other girls. I was mildly disappointed, I kind of wanted to tell her that everything was okay with Nick and I. Gushing to your friends about how everything is fine and great is the best part about being female. Well, maybe that and girl talk when you’re upset.

I flopped down on the bed and grinned up at the ceiling. It was such a weight off my shoulders.

It wasn’t two minutes before there was a knock at the door, interrupting my happy thoughts. I bounced over to the door, thinking it might be Nick and – oh shit.

Good-bye happy mood. It was nice knowing you. I was face to face with Brian. Kinda forgot about him. Oops.

“Hey.” I said awkwardly. It wasn’t midnight yet. Awkward could still be my word of the day.

“Can I come in?” He asked sharply. This gave me a bit of a shock – I’d never seen Brian mad before. I’d seen him sad, sure, when he first found out that Nick and I were ‘dating’. But never mad. I didn’t even think it was possible.

“Yeah, of course.” I meekly replied. No good was going to come of this. My eyes drifted to the ceiling again as Brian made his way into my room and sat down on the bed.

“So you and Nick are kissing now?” He wasn’t going to beat around the bush, was he?

“Yeah.” I didn’t know what to say, or how to explain myself. I felt like total shit. What I did was so not cool, I didn’t even think about Brian’s feelings at all.

“Just so we’re clear, you’re kissing both Nick, and me, now.” He tried to make eye contact with me, but I sort of avoided it. I was very interested in the carpet. “You know, you can sit down. I’m not going to bite.” That was a bit of a softer tone. I think it made me feel worse.

I glanced at him and nodded. This was not going to go well. Sitting down on the bed I took a deep breath. I tried to think of something, anything, I could say to make this better. No words came out.

“Why not just date him in the first place? Why go through all of this mess?”

I pressed my lips together. “I didn’t mean to.” I finally answered.

He nodded, maybe even smiled a little. I didn’t think it was a happy smile though. It was more of an ‘of course you didn’t.’ type of smile. I sucked.

“I know. I just don’t understand why you couldn’t tell me. You obviously had feelings for Nick, and he obviously reciprocates them.”

I totally sucked. “I couldn’t. I mean, I didn’t think it was ever going to happen with Nick. I gave up on him.”

He kind of glared at me. At least, the most I’d ever seen him glare anyway. I could tell he didn’t really know how to feel either. I sort of wondered what his conversation with Nick was going to be like. Maybe he would punch him. Or maybe he would get AJ to punch him. I decided Nick was probably going to get punched.

“So I was just your consolation prize then?”

And that was all it took. I was totally the one who deserved to be punched. I came up with this brilliant plan, I hurt one of the nicest people in the world, and I was the one reaping all the benefits? How was that fair? I buried my face in my hands and tried to stop myself from sobbing uncontrollably. It only sort of worked.

“No! Not at all! I mean, I just… I’m so sorry.” I choked out.

Brian didn’t say anything. So I just continued crying my face off and trying to convince him I didn’t mean to hurt him.

“Nick was just like, a stupid crush you know? It was just…all the fun of us pretending to be dating and then it was actually fun and with you it was fun it just wasn’t like passion and I just needed the passion and then Nick just kissed me out of nowhere and told me.” I don’t think I took one breath during that entire explanation. After that we were both silent for a really long time. Except for me. I was still crying.

Finally, Brian spoke. “Nick kissed you?”

I wiped my eyes a bit. “Yeah. Last night he pulled me into his hotel room and kissed me.”

He nodded again. “So he just kissed you. After telling me it was okay to go on a date with you. And that he was cool with it.”

Had Nick told Brian that? I didn’t know that part. That was kind of douchey of him. It also didn’t make much sense. “Why would he do that?” I wondered.

“You tell me.” Brian said, as if it were obvious.

Touche. “Don’t blame Nick… I don’t want to ruin your friendship. This is all my fault.” It hadn’t even occurred to me before that moment that I might have caused some permanent damage. Brian and Nick were like best friends. If I messed that up forever, I don’t know how I could live with myself.

“I didn’t say it wasn’t your fault.” He replied bitterly.

Just when I thought I couldn’t cry anymore, a fresh set of tears came. And we sat in more silence, which was soon broken by a knock at my door.

I was torn. Part of me wished it was Nick, and another part of me hoped for anyone else. It didn’t take long for me to find out though, since Brian walked over to the door and opened it. Something I was sort of grateful for. I was a mess.

I didn’t really listen to their exchange, but of course I knew right away it was Nick who was there. Brian left without saying a word to me, which I was honestly grateful for. I didn’t think I could take another minute of that.

“Dani?” Nick said as he sat down next to me. I wiped my eyes, but didn’t say anything. “Did he do something to you?”

Oh Nick. How did you go from being mister passive to mister protective in a matter of two days? “No.” I managed to say. “We did something to him though.” It was all I could get out before crying again. At least this time I had someone to hug. That was nice. I knew I was making him feel awkward. I didn’t care that much.

“It’s okay Dani, he’ll get over it.”

I couldn’t talk about this anymore. I wanted my passion with Nick back. I wanted the passionate night we’d had before, I didn’t want all this drama. I’d had enough serious talking for one day.

Apparently Nick hadn’t. “Dani.” He said. I tried to stop him but it was no use. “We need to talk.”

WHAT? I pulled away from him, shocked and disgusted. Had my sobfest with Brian been for no reason? Was Nick really going to do this to me?

Thankfully, he read my mind (or my tear stained face) and answered my question. “No! Not like that! I mean, we just…should talk…”

Yeah we probably did need to talk. But not right at that moment we didn’t. “I’m so sick of talking, Nick.” I admitted. “I can’t do anymore talking.” I knew I’d be able to sway him. I needed to be close to him. I needed to feel like everything we had gone through and were going to have to keep going through wasn’t for nothing.

He didn’t try to push me away from him anymore after that even though he clearly had something important he wanted to say. Whatever it was, I think we’d both agreed it could wait until morning.

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